It’s one of those days again. I’m squirming underneath my warm blanket with a hot cup of cocoa on my hand while listening to the rhythm of the heavy rain drops outside the windows. It seems to be in sync with my heart beat as I shut my eyes and the waves of the old scenes that I once witnessed starting rushing back ferociously.

She was always there, standing on that corner of the street with an open umbrella, watching people around her running for shelter.

She once found you at that corner of the street. she still vaguely remember that it was drizzling. You have no shelter and you asked her if you could take shelter with her. That moment was so intense that I thought I could see sunshine and rainbow above her head even though is raining. Ever since that day, she never left, in case you can find her when you decided that you want to take shelter with her again.

But all she see is you were busying taking shelter from others. Of course, you changed shelter every now and then. Ironically, she was happy when you were under shelter with the same umbrella for a long time because that means you won’t get drenched.You passed her by so many times, occasionally you would turn and look at her. But not for long, then you decided to seek shelter elsewhere.

She always thought maybe her shelter ain’t good enough. So she’ve been changing better umbrellas every now and then. Hoping that someday, it will be good enough for you.

She still reserved hers for you. Others tried to get in, but her umbrella just automatically close when they tried. But she’s getting tired. she too want to have someone to take shelter with her so that the person can hold the umbrella for her. She’s tired of holding it alone.

Recently, you are alone again, out there, soaking in the rain, she wanted to yell for you but she can’t because she’s afraid. Afraid that you would see her vulnerability. Afraid that you never really wanted to be in the same shelter as she does. So she just stand there silently, with her open umbrella, hoping that someday you will understand.

The part when she said she wanted to scream out everytime you passed her by was the most unforgettable, “So tell me, will you for once, stop by, look at me, realize that I’m your shelter and then help me hold the umbrella?”

Last I remembered, she was still there. Alone with her open umbrella.

What’s the best thing to keep you awake while you are dying doing the endless assignments?

Womanizer

Click on it. Seriously.

It makes my palm goes all sweaty, pulse racing and pupils dilated.

Ok maybe I exaggerated a little.

But this is probably a great comeback video.

Best for her.

Sexy without coming off as trashy.

Maybe the lyrics is not good enough for a legendary song but hey

her songs are never deep. :p

Still, this is hot catchy good stuff. 

I no longer feel sorry for her. Ha.

Oh and the guy is so orgasmly hawt.

I was bisexual for that 3 minutes and 54 seconds.

Good job. (:

It’s Britney Bitchhhhh.

Alright get back to my work. Gaaaah.

I have watched the latest James Bond movie. Quantum of Solace. Not bad for a typical James Bond movie although the chasing on the roof resembled to “Bourne”. I didn’t watch the Casino Royale though but is really beyond my understanding why people thinks that Daniel Craig is not suitable to be the new James Bond. Fine maybe he do not have the typical James Bond look but come on that is so boring already. I think Craig’s brood, solemn, cold yet sentimental package fits the role prefectly.

Well Daniel doesn’t look bad standing next to the very first and most quiessential James Bond.

“Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk, and Martin walked so Obama could run.”.

I guess when people are in deep shit for too long, they yearn for changes. All the way to go Dear Mr.President. Live up to the hopes and dreams that you promised and made it come true.

I feel like I'm moving in slow motion

like I'm moving in slow motion

and everything around me is moving so fast

so fast

and i just wanna go back to when things were normal.

No one ever dies a virgin because life fucks us all in the end.

Ok I’m so bored and irritated by the hot weather over here right now which inspired me to post something really HOT.

My Favourites ALL Time.

*drum rolls please*
*rankings do not determine who comes first in my heart* =)

1. Wentworth Miller

Do I really need to say MORE? Miller is SOOOOO devoted and lovely and smart and stubborn and insanely sorrow and oh so cute in Prison Break. smile or not he is capable of melting me from ice berg in Antarctica to water and evaporated into the thin air. *gasps*

I would love to have a romantic yet dangerous encounter with him in let’s say, Titanic+ Batman kinda romance+thriller?

*if you want to know more about my obsession towards him go to my archives and click on Wentworth Miller.*

2. Patrick Dempsey aka McDreamy

Wow it is not easy to find a nice picture of my Mcdreamy. Not because he is ugly or what, is because his charm is beyond the pictures. Watch Grey’s Anatomy and you would realize how charming he is and how attracted you are to him like a mouse to a cheese. Look at his always watery eyes and that heartbreaking smile of his makes you go all aww and want to run over and give him a big hug and a kiss on his nose and play with his hair. Yes I always wanted to ruffle(is there such a word?) through his hair. He always looks like a lost puppy. *Awwwww.*

I would love to meet him in…hospitals whereas I’m the dying patient and he as the doc swore not to fall for another even after I have passed away.

3. James McAvoy

He might not be one of those big stars and might not even capture your attention at first glance. But try to take a little time, you will realize he is like some form of slow drug, so captivating and deadly. From Atonement to Wanted to Penelope, he never failed to amaze me. (I’m going to watch “Becoming Jane”!) That sorrow boyish look with that charm of his captivated me. *Aahhhh.*

I wanna meet him in Penelope kinda era. You know the whole indie yet fairy tale kinda life? Yea he shall be my prince charming but being separated by family hatred bla bla that kinda stuff =)

4. Hugh Jackman

He is like the finest most perfecto gentlemen you could ever met. If there is ever any resurrected finest duke he would be the one. That broad shoulder, perfect height enough to make you feel small and protected in his strong muscular arms and that sexy accent. Haha. I adored him in every single movie from Swordfish, Van Helsing, Kate & Leopold, X-Men, Deception and others. He always makes me feel like riding away with him on the horse to a field of wildflowers.  *gaaaahhhh*

Well he shall be MY duke back in those Victorian era. My knight in the shining armor who will save me from a forced marriage to the tyrant king. =p

5. Jamie Oliver

Unlike other chefs on tv with the hot temper and cranckiness, Jamie is always so soft and cuteeeee. There is definitely nothing sexier than a man in an apron. *heee* Hey I would marry him ok because I don’t have to cook. Fine although he did put on some weight BUT he is STILL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO adorable and cute and lovable and huggable and goofy. and THAT accent. ;D

Ohhhh I wanna meet him while I’m halfway touring in French and decided to work in a bakery to learn how to bake and he is my chef and we shall have some hot hungry romance hahaha.

6. Naz

I want to clarify that I’m not all into blue eyes blonde hair dudes (prefer dark-haired), hey I do like asians as well ok. This is one of the rare photos of Naz because is SO hard to find a picture on local artists. Sigh. Anyway, first look, you might think he is snobbish and arrogant but try and watch “Ghost” which is the BEST local drama series EVER. You would find that he is actually so charming and annoying in a cute way. I’m so in love with him after the whole season. :d

Hmm. Maybe someone that I bumped into accidentally. We will argue all day long but still cuddle at the end of it. =)

7. Jason Mraz

Remember my last post mentioning that I would fly to somewhere and hopefully meet someone who would be as laid back as I do? Well Jason Mraz would be the one. He can be the low life singer who sings during weddings or even teach kids music. He would sing me “Im Yours” everyday and “The Beauty in Ugly” whenever I’m feeling ugly with his guitar, the goofy smile and his messy hair underneath the cute hat.

Well like I said above, we would tour around the world together. =)

8. Daniel Wu

Heee. Finally a chinese! =) Well he is not exactly a pure chinese but well I never really do like pure chinese despite I’m one Haha. He is so the very hot lar. My god. Although he has this bad boy looks (he is in real life anyway) but that’s what makes him so ohhh la laaaaa.

Ok. He is one of those potential hot flings material. Nothing more. LOL.

9. Richard Gere

I know I know. He is almost three times my age and can almost be my dad or even grandad but you so can’t deny the fact that this man aged like the finest wine! So nice if he’s my dad. No wait, that would be incest. But hell if I have a dad like that, I don’t care!

Awww. That’s what he makes me feel. =p We can have those retired romance you know. Like those couple walking on the beach holding hands, read books to each other on the garden bench and dancing in the kitchen.

Last but not least…

10. Heath Ledger

I feel so nostalgic whenever talking about him. Sigh. Oh well at least he’s on my desktop wallpaper for god knows how many months. Even longer than Miller. I would never forget his wide sunshine-y smile, his talents, his charm and his oh so cute looks. =(

Well IF he is STILL alive, we would have the sweetest romance. =) I would try to heal all his wounds and pain.

When was the last time you truly felt happy? Are you doing what you enjoyed doing? Is this something that you really want to do? But most importantly, are you happy?

No I’m not. I’m dying. Literally.

Do you know what I really want to do? Pack a luggage, grab my passport, buy a ticket to somewhere in Europe and start touring. I will stay in a country for couple of months waking up in a small cottage with an old couple(not in the same room of course) and work in a hidden bakery or cafe or even those cute little antique shops to earn my living expenses. Probably find an artistic man who shared the same laid back lifestyle as I do and tour around together. We will go to the gardens every weekend, go around the place holding a map, listen to their music, watch their films, learn their language, shop in vintage shop and maybe take up some short course along the way and spent most of the time breathing in their culture and language and people and lifestyle. Just take in, soak in and breathe in.

That’s exactly what I want to do.

Sometimes I feel that I’m just not cut out for college. I’m tired and exhausted all the time. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time and I hate being tied down to all these. Obligations, boundaries, rules, dramas, people bla bla bla.

Oh well. I’m hoping that maybe one day, some day, I have the courage to just leave everything behind me. Then I will fly. =)

I have my PR assignment due on this thursday 9am which is just the day after tomorrow and I have yet to start. Hell, I haven’t even picked my campaign yet. The people in charged will only give me a feedback tomorrow or day after tomorrow. Great. Well blamed it on my procrastination. I have been so screwed over by all my assignments.Blek.

Moving on, my life currently is…stagnant. The feelings that I’m going through is indescribable. My emotions are so drained up from my body. That day, I finally shattered. Finally, I broke into million little pieces. Finally, I let my emotions overrun me. Finally, I acknowledged the pain, the grief, the sadness, the reality, the fantasy, the everything and nothing at all. Finally, I let go of myself. I’m rising above and telling myself that it will pass. somehow. But right now. I just want to be miserable.
When you try your best but you don’t succeed,

when you get what you want but not what you need,

when you feel so tired but you can’t sleep,

stuck in reverse.

When the tears come streaming down your face,

when you lost something you can’t replace,

when you love someone but it goes to waste,

could it be worse?

I watched this quite sometime ago and it makes me go “wow” at the end of the show. It was so great that it went beyond my imagination. I have yet to read the acclaimed novel so I can’t really compare between the movie and the book. But I felt I have gone through an emotional roller coaster after watching it. It sets in the traditional European era with the theme of ultimate betrayal and romance between the royalty and the Boleyn family. I haven’t watched such great movie since I can’t even remember.

Let’s look at the casts. Eric Bana is getting more and more charming & hunkier day by day. Look completely different from the Ang’s Hulk movie. Even though he is the heartless-foolish-brutal-Casanova in this film but god I love him and his oh so gagaga body! I have always loved Natalie Portman and she never failed to disappoint me in her role as the headstrong, proudful sister. Scarlett Johansen was well, great although I so do not want to admit it. I never really liked her but she kinda outshine Natalie a little as the other sister. Maybe because she is the leading actress. (ok maybe I’m a little biased and bitter)

Before I end my review, I want to say something about Natalie’s role as Anne whom is supposedly to be the “evil” one. I don’t think she is the antagonist. She is just too stubborn and headstrong and ambitious which sadly being manipulated and misused by her father and uncle thus caused her fatal downfall.

No although this is supposed to be a historical drama, it is not boring because the director somehow transform it into a dramatic opera. Which is a good thing actually.

*Do you know that Natalie Portman is a Harvard graduate in Pyschology. That’s why I adore and admire her.

Oh and today I went to get an eye check up because my eyes are insanely itchy and red and you know what the doc says? “Your eyelids are very sensitive.” Then I went to see another doc for my always watery nose. and you know what he says again? “Your nose is very sensitive“. Haha. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I told you. I’m a sensitive fragile human being. So please love & adore me. Treat me gently. :p

Ohhhhh and I watched Emmy red carpets the other day and my Mcdreamy is soooooooooooooooooooooo damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn finnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (as always) I’m gonna start watching Entourage cause that’s his favourite show. :))

So who wanna go watch Mama Mia with me? Colin Flirth and Pierce Brosnan!

Ok. My first perception, romantic-kids movie with totally predictable storyline then I saw James McAvoy’s name in the movie poster and forgo my first perception because he won’t act in those retarded movie. It actually has a dark sense of humor and twist in it unlike other typical similar like movie. 

The first half was incredible but when it comes to the second half, the movie starting to downside. It ended way too abruptly which leaves me feeling," What? That’s it?" BUT they have a great cast. Christina Richie is absolutely perfect for the role with her princess-like look. Love her wardrobe and hair. As you can see, she is covering her lower part of her face with the scarf in the poster, why? well am not going to be the spoiler! James McAvoy is insanely cute and charming as he always is and great acting skills! Catherine O’Hara definitely outshines all of them as her over-protective mother role comes alive. Reese Witherspoon is insanely funny although she doesn’t appear for too long. The movie is a combination of Beauty & Beast and Pushing Daisies. It’s cinematography is lovely although the apparently supposed to be indie film is not indie enough. Oh well, Hollywood.

I wasn’t really satisfied when it ends because my high expectations weren’t met. (cheesy ending. argh.)

Overall is a really cute, unconventional fairy tale movie. Suitable for people all age. Especially those bitter people who need a little magic wand in their life.

Fav scene: When James McAvoy starts "playing" all kind of music instruments while singing "You are My Sunshine". Is insanely cute and hilarious.

Lately I have been practically living in the library. Too much assignments. My stupid journalism essay is due next week and I haven’t started yet. Most of the people I knew have already finished it. Argh.

I have been feeling like a baby recently, wanting to go home so badly.

I miss home. surprisingly.

And I realized that time passes quickly when I’m in the library. Is like suddenly the sky is dark.

I want to speak to you again.

I need to change my bedsheets. It’s been two weeks.

I have been having weird dreams lately. Like totally bizarre including me kissing Ashton Kutcher.

I’m supposed to wipe my floor.

I miss those times where I can still have faith in humans.

I miss Montgomery. I really like her. There was once I stopped Grey’s for sometime because Mcdreamy stayed with her for obligation but still sleep with Meredith.

I miss the you whom I haven’t been talking to for god knows how long.

I feel like attending Avril’s concert and cry when she sings her emo songs.

I miss the petrol smell.

I miss the newly washed bedsheets smell.

My soy milk just spoilt.

Wall-E is probably the best animation ever. The first animation that makes me sniffle my nose and wiping off my tears from the corner of my eyes. Yeah. A cartoon that makes me cry, how BAD can it be???

I have many different personalities in me yet I still feel lonely.

I hope you are fine.

I need to clear up all the papers and mess on my floor.

I have to stop eating MCD.

I will start cracking my work tomorrow. I promise.

Oh and I just learned that mutton is lamb. I always thought mutton is beef just like how I used to think tuna is from the whale. (my mum told me about the latter. you would have believed your mum when you were young and gullible. she made me feel bad and mourned for the whales for well…almost my whole life.)

I’m really weird. My mood can swing from one end till the other in like…5 secs?

Convo of the day:

elaine says:
I don’t mean I need sex literally. I said it randomly because is always either food or sex but since I had my dinner so there goes food.

elaine says:
is just that i think i need some warmth

elaine says:
warmth from half naked men

elaine says:
Ok. maybe i do need sex after all.

Laura says:
hahahaha

elaine says:
I’m broke.

MiTcH says:
maybe you can con some guy into buying you drinks.

elaine says:
Cheapskate.

MiTcH says:
No. That’s call strategic planning.