elaine

I have decided to continue blogging here. fickle-minded me.

I apologize for the previous emo post. Is really nothing. Is just a post that shouldn’t be taken seriously as I typed that when I was not in the right state of mind.

I still prefer blog here even though they don’t have chatbox and you can only comment if you are the member of Friendster or when you log in. I feel homey blogging here. :p

Anyway I haven’t really blogged for a long time. Either too much stuff has been happening lately or life is just too mundane. Whatever it is I guess I’m just plainly lazy.

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So what I have been up to? Well I’ve been hanging out a lot with people that I cared for lately and also having sleep-over at Kel Zoe’s. And is TWICE. People who know me long enough knows that I don’t really like sleep-over. Go ask Kel Zoe, Aina, Dina and Leh Bin laa then you guys will know is such a pain for me to sleep-over. Cause I will bring my shampoo, body shampoo, facial wash, water bottle, clothes to sleep-over, clothes to wear next morning, towel, plastic bags to put in my dirty clothes, comb, toothbrush, toothpaste and even my own cup for just an overnight stay. My backpack is the biggest. But I still go anyhow because of them. And the Steven Corner’s(they served the best roti naan cheese) and pasar malam at Kel Zoe’s place. and she really has a huge collection of shoes and clothes. Seriously. and her toilet very niceeeeeee and clean and green. :))) *go to my facebook for the pics*

Oh the hanging out consists of shopping and definitely food expeditions. More on food compared to shopping lo. Almost everyday we hanged out and indulged in sinful pleasures. That’s why my financial is a little tight this month. Dina and Leonard were greatly missed though. Leonard don’t diet lah, eat to live and live to eat ma. I missed the Leonard who appreciates good food.

Don’t forget the Orientation that I attended last friday. It was really cool though. and pinkish. *for pics go to my facebook as well because is a pain to upload pics at friendster and blog as well*

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I learnt that true colors will come out one day. No matter how long it takes, even though it might take months or even years, it will still be shown and when that day arrives, you wished that you have seen clearer. But you wouldn’t have know, would you? Now I know. The wall of defense has once again risen and this time, it shall not be defeated again easily. When you have lost trust in someone, is forever and for life because you grew tired of wondering what’s the truth and what’s not.

Suddenly I missed Joey cause when she is around I felt like I’m in the kindergarten again. Friends back then are much more trustworthy and innocent compared now.

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Mid sem is approaching and seriously, I think I’m gonna do badly. I didn’t pay attention to almost all the classes except Boon’s. Well sometimes I didn’t listen if his class is really boring. But the rest of the classes are really…DISASTROUS & HORRENDOUS. *especially social psychology class & Vijayjay class* I feel bad that my mom need to pay for so much yet the the money doesn’t seem to be used in a useful way. Sigh. I’m greatly disappointed by the lecturers this semester. Seriously.

Not to mention, the stupid and boring assignments are pilling up and I’m so unmotivated and uninspired even though I can hear them screaming for my name underneath the thick piles of bullshits that determined my CGPA.

Yet I’m still sitting here typing away and complaining. Whatever lah. Babi betul.

I need to indulge myself in some good films/tv shows. Can’t wait for term break so I can go home and lay in my comfy sofa with the remote on my hand and step into their fantasy world. Mcdreamy and Miller just wait for me alright.

I should have known better that the ringing of my cell is the call of death.

I should have known better than to let her proceed and go on and on and on thus ruined my good night sleep.

I should have known better that history repeats on itself.

fuck.

I guess there’s just too much "I should have known" in this world as an excuse to make ourselves feel better after realizing the mistake we have made.

My day started well and it was supposed to end it well. But, I’m now sitting here in front of my laptop at 12.35am munching my biscuits and hitting on the keyboard so hard that I think the alphabets are screaming bloody murder.

I’m back to square one. again. sigh.

How do you make a decision that’s really yours and truly yours to make?

How do you not get influenced by the others?

How do you know that you have made the right decision?

How do you know what you really want in your entire life when you are only…what? 18?

How do you make someone believe that you can make it on your own?

How do you get someone to tell the truth and nothing but just the truth?

How do you stop letting people getting on your nerves?

How do you refrain yourself from feeling hopeless and helpless and brainless and restless?

Stop bursting my bubbles. STOP.

That’s something that I hate about myself. I love to create bubbles even before the soap for the bubbles are foamed. My bad I know.

"Your subtleties, they strangle me, I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants, and all the needs, all I don’t want to need at all. The walls start breathing, my mind’s unweaving, maybe it’s best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted, on this evening, I give the final blow."                                             

                                                                 -All American Reject-

I feel like eating ice-cream. It makes me feel like a child again.